Moving up to secondary school: choosing and settling in

July 23, 2026

Short answer: When choosing a secondary school, look beyond results: size, journey, atmosphere, and how the school supports children like yours all matter. Visit on open days and, if you can, on an ordinary day too. Take your child's wishes seriously — including wanting to go with a friend — without letting one factor decide everything. Expect the first term to be tiring, practise organising and the journey in advance, and contact the form tutor early if you're worried. How school places are allocated varies by country, so check the local process and deadlines.

In the last year of primary school, a decision gets made that shapes the next few years — and it often carries more emotion than anyone expects.

How places are allocated

Every system is different. In England, parents usually apply through their local council in the autumn of Year 6, listing schools in order of preference, and offers are made the following spring. In the US, most children move to middle school based on where they live, with some choice in certain districts. In the Netherlands, children receive a school recommendation in their final primary year, alongside a national test. Check your local council or school district's process and deadlines early.

A school that suits your child matters more than a school that sounds impressive.

What to look for

Size. Some children thrive in a big school with lots of options; others feel lost.
The journey. An hour's travel sounds different on a sunny open evening than on a wet February morning.
Support. Ask specific questions: how do you support pupils with dyslexia, anxiety, ADHD? How do you deal with bullying?
Transition arrangements: taster days, buddy schemes, a tutor who knows your child.
Atmosphere. If you can, visit on an ordinary day. Notice how pupils and staff talk to each other.
Your child's view. Ask what they noticed and how they felt there.

“But I want to go where my best friend is going”

Take it seriously without letting it decide everything. Friendships from the last year of primary school often change in the first year of secondary. Be honest about that, and let it count if the schools are otherwise similar.

Preparing for the move

Practise the journey over the summer, including what to do if the bus is late.
Practise organisation: a planner, a timetable on the fridge, packing the bag the night before.
Talk about what's new: moving between classrooms, many teachers, more homework.
Agree on phones before term starts, if your child is getting one. See a phone of their own.

The first term

Expect tiredness, a shorter fuse and few stories about the day. Everything is new at once — often just as puberty begins.

Keep evenings and weekends calm at first.
Ask specific questions: “Who did you sit with at lunch?”
Help with planning, then gradually step back.
Contact the form tutor early if you're worried — don't wait for the first report.

If it isn't working

If your child is struggling with the level of work, is very unhappy, or is being bullied, talk to the school early. Support, a different set or group, or other adjustments can make a big difference. Talk to your GP if your child seems anxious, low, or is refusing school.