Short answer: There's no magic age. Many children get their first phone around the move to secondary school, but readiness matters more than age: can your child stick to agreements, stop when asked, and come to you when something goes wrong? Start small (a basic phone, or a smartphone without social media), agree the rules before you hand it over, and keep phones out of bedrooms at night. Most social media platforms set a minimum age of 13.
“Everyone in my class has one.” Usually that isn't quite true — and it rarely changes the conversation you're about to have.
A checklist instead of an age
- Can your child stick to agreements without you standing over them?
- Can they stop doing something fun when asked, most of the time?
- Do they come to you when something upsetting happens?
- Do they understand that what's shared online can't be taken back?
- Do they look after their things, and cope if something gets lost?
- Is there a real need? Travelling to school alone is a reason; “everyone has one” isn't.
A phone for staying in touch doesn't have to be a phone with social media.
Start small
You don't have to go from nothing to everything. Steps that work well:
- A basic phone for calls and texts only.
- A smartphone used only on home wifi, with no SIM.
- A smartphone with selected apps, but no social media.
- More access, added in stages as trust grows.
Use the parental controls built into the phone and app store: approve downloads, set content filters and screen-time limits, and review them together as your child gets older.
Agree the rules before you hand it over
This is the most important step. Bringing in rules after your child has had free access is much harder. Write a short list together and put it somewhere visible. The American Academy of Pediatrics offers a free online Family Media Plan you can fill in together.
- Where it sleeps: outside the bedroom, charging downstairs. Sleep is usually the first thing to suffer, and screens before bed can interfere with it.
- When it's away: at meals, during homework, at family time.
- Passwords and checking: who knows the passwords, and what you will and won't look at. Be honest about it.
- When something goes wrong: take a screenshot, don't reply, and tell you. Promise you won't take the phone away as punishment for telling you — otherwise your child won't tell you next time.
- If a rule is broken: agree a small, realistic consequence in advance.
Social media and age limits
Most social media platforms set a minimum age of 13, linked to data protection rules for children. Even so, many younger children use them. If you do allow an account, set it up together: private profile, location sharing off, limits on who can message or comment, and show your child how to block and report. See social media and your child.
Your own phone habits
This is the uncomfortable bit. Children copy what they see. If adults scroll at the table, a “no phones at meals” rule is hard to keep. Agreements work best when they apply to everyone.
A phone isn't a reward or a right. It's a tool your child learns to use step by step — with you alongside.
Signs it isn't going well
- Poor sleep, tiredness or falling behind with schoolwork.
- Mood changes after using the phone, secrecy, or hiding the screen.
- Withdrawing from friends, family or activities they used to enjoy.
Talk about it calmly. If you're worried about your child's mood or safety, involve their school or your GP.
Related reading
A screen plan for your family: Screen Time and Your Child (PDF, English, ages 2–12) helps you find a healthy screen balance that works for your family.
Sources
- American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org — Family Media Plan.
- Ofcom — Children's media habits.
- Information Commissioner's Office (UK) — Children's code.
- Common Sense Media — Advice for parents.
Written by the Bloom Guides editorial team. Last updated: 20 October 2026. General information only.