Short answer: Your role with homework is coach, not co-author: set up the conditions (a regular time, food and movement first, a quiet space without a phone), help your child break work into small steps, ask questions rather than giving answers, and let them make their own mistakes. Short blocks of work with breaks help concentration. If homework regularly takes far longer than intended, ends in tears, or your child clearly doesn't understand the work, talk to the teacher — and if concentration problems show up everywhere, ask about further support.
The homework should have been finished by four. At half past five you're doing the sums yourself while your child stares at the ceiling, and you're both in a foul mood. Sound familiar?
Your role: coach, not co-author
You look after the conditions and ask the questions; your child does the work. Homework with mistakes your child made themselves tells the teacher much more than a perfect sheet you corrected.
If you're working harder on the homework than your child is, something has gone off track.
Set up the conditions
- A regular time. Arguing about when often takes more energy than the homework. Agree it once, then refer back to it.
- Food and movement first. A snack and some active play after school help many children settle to work.
- A clear space, with phones and screens out of reach — not just face down on the table.
- Short blocks with breaks. Younger children manage only short stretches; build in movement breaks rather than screen breaks.
- Enough sleep. Tired children concentrate less well; protect bedtime even on busy homework nights.
Starting is the hardest part
Putting things off is rarely laziness. Usually the task feels too big or too unclear. Break it down: not “do your project”, but “write three sentences about your topic”.
A visible timer helps: “Let's set it for ten minutes and see how far you get.” Often, once started, it carries on.
Questions instead of answers
- “What exactly do you need to do?”
- “Where are you getting stuck?”
- “What have you tried so far?”
- “Where could you look that up?”
- “Shall I do one example, then you try the next?”
Praise effort and strategy
“You kept going on that hard one” builds motivation more than “You're so clever”. See praise that works.
When to talk to the teacher
Contact school if homework regularly takes much longer than intended, causes tears most days, is setting the tone at home, or your child clearly doesn't understand the material. That isn't complaining: teachers often don't know how long work takes at home, and can adjust it or offer support.
If concentration is the real issue
If your child is easily distracted everywhere, loses things, can't get started or gives up halfway — at home and at school — there may be more going on, such as ADHD, dyslexia, or an issue with hearing or sight. Talk to the teacher and, in the UK, the school's SENCO (special educational needs coordinator), and see your GP if needed. See ADHD in children and dyslexia.
When stress is the problem
If your child is anxious about tests or schoolwork, has trouble sleeping, or feels sick before school, the NHS suggests listening, helping them plan, encouraging breaks, sleep and exercise, and keeping things in perspective. Talk to the school and your GP if anxiety is affecting daily life.
A good relationship with your child matters more than a finished worksheet. If homework is a battle every day, step back and talk to the school.
Related reading
Understanding how children think: Your Child's Brain (PDF, English) explains how children's brains develop and what that means for everyday parenting.
Sources
- NHS — Help your child beat exam stress.
- NHS — ADHD in children and young people.
- American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org — School.
Written by the Bloom Guides editorial team. Last updated: 20 October 2026. General information only.