Short answer: All children are sometimes restless, forgetful or impulsive. ADHD (attention deficit hyperactivity disorder) is different: symptoms are more marked than in other children of the same age, have lasted a long time, show up in more than one setting, and get in the way of daily life. Symptoms usually start before 12 and involve inattention, hyperactivity and impulsivity — or mainly one of these. Girls are often recognised less, partly because they more often have inattentive symptoms. Start by talking to your child's school and GP. Support at home and school helps, with or without a diagnosis.
The teacher calls him “a lively one”. Grandad says children get labelled too quickly these days. And every evening you see a child in tears because, once again, he couldn't manage to sit still.
Where the line is
Professionals look at whether symptoms are:
- more marked than in other children of the same age;
- long-lasting (usually at least six months);
- present in more than one setting — at home and at school, not just in one place;
- causing problems with learning, friendships, family life or self-esteem.
That last point matters most. A lively child who is doing well doesn't need a diagnosis.
Two faces of ADHD
Hyperactive and impulsive
Finding it hard to sit still, fidgeting, constant moving or talking, interrupting, acting without thinking, struggling to wait their turn.
Inattentive
Easily distracted, losing things, forgetting instructions, seeming not to listen, struggling to organise or finish tasks, making careless mistakes. This presentation can be missed, because these children don't disrupt others. The NHS notes that ADHD is thought to be recognised less often in girls, possibly because girls more commonly have inattentive symptoms.
Most children with ADHD have symptoms of both types; some mainly have one.
A child with inattentive ADHD may not disturb anyone — except themselves.
What ADHD isn't
ADHD isn't caused by bad parenting. It often runs in families and relates to how the brain manages attention and self-control. If you recognise a lot of yourself in your child, that's common.
The route to help (UK example)
- Talk to the teacher. They may involve the school's special educational needs coordinator (SENCO), who can suggest support in class.
- Talk to your GP. If support at home and school isn't helping, ask how to request a referral for an ADHD assessment.
- Assessment is carried out by specialists, using interviews, questionnaires for you and school, and observation. There's no single blood test or scan for ADHD.
- While waiting, support at home and school should continue. Your local council or family hub may offer advice and parenting support.
In other countries the route differs — start with your child's school and family doctor or paediatrician.
What helps at home, with or without a diagnosis
- Visible structure: a picture timetable on the wall works better than repeating yourself.
- One instruction at a time: “Get your coat”, not a list of three things.
- Eye contact first, then speak. Calling from another room rarely lands.
- Movement before focus: active play before homework helps many children concentrate.
- Short blocks of work with a visible timer and breaks.
- Notice what goes well, often. Children with ADHD get many corrections a day; specific praise protects their self-esteem.
- Protect sleep: tiredness makes symptoms worse.
Treatment
UK guidance (NICE) recommends that support starts with information, parent support and adjustments at school, and that medicine may be offered to children aged 5 and over when symptoms are still causing significant problems. For some children, medicine makes a big difference; for others, support and adjustments are enough. It's a decision to make with a specialist, weighing benefits and side effects.
A diagnosis isn't a label that sticks. It's an explanation — and for many children, the first time they hear they aren't lazy or stupid.
When to seek help sooner
Talk to your GP promptly if your child seems very low or anxious, is being excluded at school, or their behaviour is putting them at risk of harm.
Related reading
For parents of children with ADHD: Raising an ADHD Child (PDF, English, ages 4–16) is about understanding, supporting and growing together.
Sources
- NHS — ADHD in children and young people.
- NICE — Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder: diagnosis and management (NG87).
Written by the Bloom Guides editorial team. Last updated: 20 October 2026. General information only — not a substitute for assessment by a qualified professional.