Short answer: Imaginary friends are common and usually a sign of healthy development, not loneliness or a problem. In one long-term study, about two-thirds of children had had an imaginary companion (including toys they treated as real) by the age of seven. Go along with it lightly, let your child stay in charge of the friend, and don't let the friend take the blame for things. Only talk to a professional if the friend frightens your child, gives them instructions, or replaces all real contact.
Your daughter asks you to wait at the door because Lottie still has to come out. Lottie doesn't exist. And you wonder whether this is normal. It is.
How common are imaginary friends?
Very. Researchers who followed a group of children from preschool into school age found that 65% had had an imaginary companion at some point by age seven — an invisible friend, or a toy or stuffed animal with its own personality. School-age children played with them as much as preschoolers did, so there's no need to worry if your six-year-old still has one. Most children leave them behind as they grow, often without anyone noticing.
Why children create them
An imaginary friend isn't a sign that something is missing. In the same research, preschoolers who had imaginary companions or pretended to be imaginary characters tended to do better on tests of understanding other people's thoughts and feelings. Children use imaginary friends for things like:
- Practising social situations without any risk.
- Feeling in control in a life where they otherwise have little say.
- Parking difficult feelings. “Lottie is scared of the doctor” is easier to say than “I'm scared”.
- Company through change: a move, a new sibling, a new school.
- Plain fun. Many children simply enjoy the story.
Listen to what the friend says. Children sometimes tell you things through their imaginary friend that they wouldn't say directly.
How to respond
Go along with it, but let your child lead
Lay that extra place at the table if you're asked to. But don't decide what Lottie thinks or likes — that's your child's world, not yours.
You don't have to pretend too much
You don't need to claim you can see the friend. Something in between works well: “You say Lottie's sitting there — would she like some apple too?”
Don't let the friend become an alibi
“Lottie spilled the milk.” Gently keep responsibility where it belongs: “Lottie can't hold a cup. You can help me wipe it up — and Lottie can watch.”
Use the friend to talk about feelings
“How does Lottie feel about starting school?” can open a conversation your child might not start themselves.
Don't make fun of it
Avoid laughing about it with visitors in front of your child. To them, it's serious.
Set the usual limits
The friend doesn't get to change family rules. “Lottie can stay up late in her house. In our house, it's bedtime.”
Is it a sign of loneliness?
Not on its own. Pretend play with imaginary companions is a normal part of childhood for many children, whatever their social life. If your child does seem isolated, the answer isn't to discourage the imaginary friend but to create chances for real play: a playdate, a club, time at the park.
When to look more closely
Talk to your GP, health visitor or your child's school if:
- your child can't seem to tell imagination from reality, even when you ask calmly;
- the friend frightens your child, or tells them to do things they don't want to do or that are dangerous;
- your child withdraws from real people almost completely in favour of the friend;
- it comes with a marked change in behaviour, such as new anxiety, low mood, or going backwards in skills.
These situations are uncommon. In most cases the friend simply drifts away when your child no longer needs it.
Related reading
- Helping your child name their emotions
- When children lie: what's normal and how to respond
- Nightmares and night terrors
Curious about what's going on in that little head? Your Child's Brain (PDF, English) explains how young children's thinking develops, and what that means for everyday parenting.
Sources
- Taylor M, Carlson SM, Maring BL, Gerow L, Charley CM. The characteristics and correlates of fantasy in school-age children: imaginary companions, impersonation, and social understanding. Dev Psychol. 2004;40(6):1173–1187. doi:10.1037/0012-1649.40.6.1173.
- American Academy of Pediatrics, HealthyChildren.org — Social development: 2-year-olds (imitation and pretend play).
- NHS — Children and young people's mental health: advice for parents.
Written by the Bloom Guides editorial team. Last updated: 19 October 2026. General information only — not a substitute for advice from your health visitor, GP or your child's school.