Short answer: Feeling down, tearful or anxious for a few days after birth is very common — the “baby blues” — and usually passes within two weeks. Postnatal depression lasts longer or gets worse, can start any time in the first year (or during pregnancy), and affects many parents: the World Health Organization estimates that around 13% of women who have just given birth experience a mental health condition, mainly depression. It's treatable with talking therapies and, if needed, medication, many of which are safe while breastfeeding. Speak to your GP, midwife or health visitor — and get urgent help for thoughts of harming yourself or your baby.
You have a healthy baby. You have a home and people around you. And still you feel nothing — or far too much. On top of that comes the heaviest thought of all: why aren't I happy? If you recognise yourself here: you're not ungrateful, not weak, and not alone.
Baby blues or something more?
Baby blues are very common in the first days after birth. You may cry easily, feel irritable or anxious, with lighter moments in between. They usually go away within two weeks.
Postnatal depression doesn't pass like that. It can start soon after birth or months later, up to a year afterwards, and it can begin in pregnancy. It tends to get heavier rather than lighter. Partners and fathers can also develop depression after a baby arrives.
Signs to take seriously
- Low mood most of the day, or feeling empty or numb.
- Finding it hard to enjoy anything, including your baby.
- Feeling hopeless, or that you can't cope.
- Feeling guilty or worthless, or that you're a bad parent.
- Constant worry or anxiety, or feeling restless and irritable.
- Difficulty sleeping, even when you get the chance to rest.
- Difficulty concentrating or making decisions.
- Difficult feelings about your baby, or finding it hard to bond.
- Thoughts of suicide, or of harming yourself or your baby.
You don't need to have all of these to get help. The NHS stresses that it's important to get help even if you only have some of the signs.
Shame keeps it going. The day you say it out loud is often the day things start to turn.
About frightening thoughts
Many new parents have sudden, unwanted thoughts or images — dropping the baby on the stairs, something terrible happening. These intrusive thoughts are distressing but common, and having them doesn't mean you want them to happen. Talking about them with a professional often brings relief.
But if you're having thoughts of acting on harming yourself or your baby, or you feel you can't keep yourself or your baby safe, don't wait — see “Get help urgently” below.
Where to get help
- Your GP, midwife or health visitor. They'll ask how you've been feeling, and may use a short questionnaire. Ask for a longer appointment if you can.
- Talking therapies. In England, adults can refer themselves directly to NHS talking therapies without seeing a GP first.
- Specialist perinatal mental health teams for more severe symptoms, during pregnancy and up to a year after birth.
Many parents fear their baby will be taken away if they speak up. The NHS is clear that this is very rare: the aim is to support you to care for your baby.
Treatment works
Treatment usually involves talking therapy, such as cognitive behavioural therapy (CBT), and sometimes antidepressants. Many antidepressants are safe while breastfeeding — tell your doctor if you're breastfeeding so they can choose a suitable one. Postnatal depression often improves within three to six months, and it's more likely to improve with treatment.
Things that help alongside treatment
- Tell someone you trust how you really feel.
- Accept practical help with shopping, chores and childcare.
- Protect your sleep: if someone can do a night feed so you get an unbroken stretch, it can make a real difference.
- Get outside and move a little each day, even a short walk.
- Try a local parent and baby group or support group.
- Do one small thing you enjoy each day.
Asking for help isn't the moment you fail as a mother. It's the moment you make sure your child is well looked after — including you.
Get help urgently if…
- you have thoughts of harming yourself or your baby, or feel you can't keep yourself safe;
- you or your partner notice sudden confusion, hallucinations, very unusual beliefs or extreme mood changes in the first weeks after birth — this can be postpartum psychosis, a medical emergency.
Call 999 (UK), 911 (US) or 112 (EU), or go to A&E. You can also call Samaritans on 116 123 (UK and Ireland), 988 in the US, or 113 in the Netherlands, any time. In England, NHS 111 can help you access urgent mental health support.
It does get better. Maybe not today or next month, but it does — and you don't have to go through it alone.
Related reading
For when you feel empty: The Silent Storm (PDF, English) is about recognising and understanding what you feel after birth, and finding your way back to yourself. It's not a replacement for treatment.
Sources
- NHS — Postnatal depression.
- NHS — Postpartum psychosis.
- NHS — Where to get urgent help for mental health.
- World Health Organization — Perinatal mental health.
- Postpartum Support International — Help for parents worldwide.
Written by the Bloom Guides editorial team. Last updated: 20 October 2026. General information only — not a substitute for advice from your GP, midwife, health visitor or a mental health professional.